Sunday, September 14, 2008

Losing it

Woke up with a blasting headache. It is a Sunday and there is this sinking feeling inside that another weekend has come to an end. So, even if Sunday means I can wake up late (which I did today) it also brings in a depressing feeling about the week that lies ahead.
Another series of blasts have rocked the capital. The gory picture on the front page hit me, the first thing I picked up the paper. Scrat walked in when I was helping myself into a huge mug of coffee, insisting that I wish a GOOD morning.

I realized that I wake up nowadays with this sinking feeling that I am losing out the battle with life. What battle... I have no idea... but that's how people put it, right?

It hits you hard when you realize that what you thought is not actually how it is. A gift that depresses you, the gift - the thought of which - takes the smile away from the face. A deadpan expression greets when there should have been a smile... Or am I wrong? Am I dreaming?
Too many voices speak inside my head. But strain my ear for sanity. It seems to have been trampled over by the unnecessary. Am I losing it?
Losing is such a depressing process... lose a game, lose a quarrel, lose a friend, lose a life. Am I scared to face the truth?
The events of a year gone by sails passed me. The same events being repeated... with certain changes in character. It is a scary feeling. I want to shut myself out of this reality. I want to get away. Yes, I want to escape... if that calms my unsettled reality.

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